Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Gift of Time.......

A lesson finds that the common denominator and links us all together, like a chain. At the end of the change dangles a clock, and on the face of the clock the passing of time is registered. We hear it, the hushed tick- tock sound that breaks any silence, and we often see it, but often we don’t feel it. Each second makes its mark on every single person’s life; comes and then goes, quietly disappearing into a fanfare, evaporating into air like steam from a piping hot Christmas pudding. Enough time leaves us warm; when our time is gone, it too leaves us cold. Time is more precious than gold, more precious than diamonds, more precious than oil or any valuable treasures. It is time that we do not have enough of; it is time that causes the war within our hearts, and so we must spend it wisely. Time cannot be packaged and ribboned and left under trees for Christmas morning. Time can’t be given, but it can be shared.
- Cecilia Ahern in ‘The Gift’ -

A week ago, I picked up this book and decided to read it for the first time ever. The book has been on the shelf for quite some time, but I have yet to read it until now since I was always so busy doing something. Never a free time left for leisure reading anymore. It just so happens, that I chose to pick up this book at the point in time where I made a life-changing decision for myself. A decision that took me weeks to finally make, leaving me at a crossroad in the meantime. And it just so happens, that when I have finally made my choice, I picked up this book and in it, is a lesson that reflects my very recent epiphany. What an ironic coincidence.

The Gift, is a story of Lou Suffern, a guy who is always busy, always rushing, always being in two places at one time (in mind) and never fully exist in any moment as he was always distracted, all for the sake of his career. He ignored his wife, kids, parents, denied himself of quality time, all for his hunger to achieve his ambition. To always rise higher, faster, no matter what. One day, he stopped by and talked to a homeless man, whom he later gave a job. Now this wise man, is more insightful than one might think, and he gave Lou a bottle of pills, that when eaten, allows Lou to physically be in two places at once and fully experience what he goes through, and tomorrow combine back into one person. The homeless man called these pills a ‘Gift’. Lou never understood what he meant. But little by little, since he took the pill, he started realizing that he has been neglecting his loved ones for a long time, and how important they are as compared to his career. One night, the homeless man told him it’s important to spend time with his family and let them know that he loves them before something happens. Lou thought that something would happen to his family, and so he rushed over to them, driving too fast on the icy road in the cold winter, leading to an accident. While he is dying, he asked the police to please give him another one of the pill so that he could go and spend precious time with his family, one last time, before it is time for him to die. At which point, only did he start understanding, that it was him who was running out of time, and the homeless man has given him the gift of time, the most precious gift of all. Time to make up for all the mistakes and hurt he has caused his family, time to spend with them, time to make sure they remember that during his lifetime he loves them to his deepest core and they are the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Upon reading this I realized that it is so closely related to me. Guys, lately I have made a life- changing decision to switch to another job. I know that a lot of people would think so what, it’s normal, a lot of people do that, it’s just from a job to another. But a job has never been just a job for me. The job that I have now is one of the jobs that I have always dreamt of. It would be my biggest stepping stone, my biggest career leap. I have always lived my life planning and executing my goal for the next 5 years, and for the next 10 years. My initial plan was to stay on this job until I finish my Professional Papers and become Manager (which would take about 5 years more or less) and then move on to another job for a higher managerial position. A few months down the road though, with all the hours put in, the no- life, the stress and all, I started to lose my enthusiasm. But I still told myself to stay positive and to hang on. But when I got another offer, I start to seriously think about whether I really wanna stay here. I took a step back, and asked myself these questions, “Have I enjoyed my life for these past few months? Is this what I wanna do for years to come? And if I die tomorrow, would I die in regret?”

The answer to the first one, I do enjoy my work, I like this job, but I haven’t really been enjoying my life, haven’t really been living my life to the fullest, or at least at all lately. I have also lost the ‘fun’ part in me, and I know I am becoming someone different from I was before. I was always stressed, cranky, I don’t talk so much to my loved ones anymore, I don’t spend enough time with my family, I don’t even see my friends, and whenever I’m not at office or a client’s, I’ll be at home in my room working from home. Always rushing and working because I have so many things on my plate and all to be delivered before a tight deadline. To top it all off, I’m literally becoming sick due to the stress, my specialist even advised me to not stress a lot and to slow down a bit. This, in my line of work, is impossible.

The answer to the second question then, if this is how I am living now, in another year, or even years to come, in time, as I progress and escalate up the ladder in the firm, my workload is going to increase and the cycle will never end. So I’m not really sure that this is still what I wanna do for years to come.

Comes in the answer for the third question, if I die tomorrow, will I die in regret. For that, unfortunately, the answer is yes. Because, in the end of the day, work should only be a part of life, not my whole life. Life should be filled with so many other things, like trying new things, going places, spending quality time doing something you enjoy, and the most important part, to spend it with my friends and family, and also to do enough good deeds as a Muslim. And if I die tomorrow, with my life as now, which only revolves around work, ambition and career alone, I would regret it. I want my life to be filled with so much more than just that. I want there to be balance in my life. And for once in my life, I actually wanna stop feeling guilty whenever I go back early (7 or 8 p.m, mind you), and not feel guilty for not working from home when I get back home later. And honestly, I actually feel tired, exhausted even. Not only for working like this for months but also for always having push myself like this for my whole life.

My whole life has always been about chasing after my ambitions. Ever since I was little, I have always had plans and had always worked to achieve it. Even since primary school I was always the overachiever who scores As and collects 30, 40 co-curricular activities certificates. I went through the same cycle too in secondary and university. And in semester breaks, I was always out on part-time job to gain experience for my resume. I don’t hate being that person, and I don’t regret that, coz that person made me who I am right now. But my whole life has always been about me living for tomorrow, the next 5 years, and the next 10 years. It has never been just about today. It has never been just about getting through it but it was always about being the best, being perfect, being great, being extraordinary. It’s never been just about enjoying the moment and relaxing. So I keep thinking, in the end of the day, what good is it all if I have never really lived my life to the fullest. Coz in the end of the day, money, career, position, is not something I can bring to the grave. And even with it all, if I don’t fully live my life, I would still not be happy. So in the end I made the decision to leave my current job and grab the new one.

I know that among the supportive words from a lot of people, there are several who whispers negative thoughts like I’ll progress slower there, and higher bureaucracy there, and I’ll get bored of the job, and the workload is equally as bad too and all sorts of stuff. And I know that no one can guarantee me that I can have a better work life balance there. But then, at least by taking this leap, I’m trying. I’m giving myself the chance and the opportunity to find that. As opposed to just sitting here and gritting my teeth while I’m not happy and doing nothing to change the situation. This is what it is about; it is about me, giving myself a chance to balance it all out. In the end of the day, what matters is that I’m happy. Not how much money I earn and how fast I climb the corporate ladder. And this is why I chose this road.

As Cecelia Ahern said, “Time is more precious than gold, more precious than diamonds, more precious than oil or any valuable treasures. It is time that we do not have enough of; it is time that causes the war within our hearts, and so we must spend it wisely”. I used to think that because time is precious, that is why I have to always be in a rush to chase after my ambition. But now I realize that because it is precious, that is why we shouldn’t waste time only chasing after tomorrow without living in the moment today. What I wanna be, my ambitions, my career goals, I’ll get there someday. Maybe a little later than planned, but I’ll still get there. For now, I wanna make sure that while I’m trying to get there, I don’t forget to also live my life and fill it with precious memories and experiences.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Pure Heart....

Hey guys....
A bit out of ideas for blog updates lately...
But these past two three days I've been doing The Vampire Diaries Marathon again....
And I have fallen in love with Damon Salvatore yet again...
Hence the feeling of need to tell someone about it...
So bear with me for a bit ya... Hahahaha....

So a brief overview, for those of you not watching, The Vampire Diaries tells a story about Elena (the hot exotic looking Nina Dobrev) and her life with Damon and Stefan Salvatore, vampires of the Mystic Falls…
Fans have been picking sides and the question of Damon or Stefan has been there since the beginning of the series…
I used to like Stefan, although Damon is obviously hotter, as he is Elena’s boyfriend and he is the good guy and the more responsible of the sibling and stuff….
But the more I watch, the more I am into Damon, and now I’m on his side….

Reason, reason, reason??
Well, his pure and unconditional love….
It just touches me to see his love towards Elena….
He would have done anything for her, even sacrifice himself, his life, to protect Elena and make her happy, even though he knows that her heart is all for Stefan and Elena would never choose him above Stefan….
To always be the second choice, to always be the one pushed aside, he never quivered and never once questioned it…
He even changed into a better person (or vampire) for Elena…
He accepts all and does all for her no matter what….

Even when Stefan has left and ditched Elena to go to the dark side, he never took advantage of the situation….
Instead he did all he can to find Stefan and bring him back to Elena even if it costs his life… And even when he knows that somewhere along the lines, a part of Elena’s heart has fallen for him, he still does everything he can to get Stefan back to Elena….
Just because Elena has asked for it, and Elena chose to wait for Stefan and diminish any feelings for Damon…..
All Elena ever need to do is ask, and Damon will do....

In Season 2, episode 8, I quote this from Damon....
“I just have to say something,
But what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said in my life
I just need to say it once, you just need to hear it
I love u Elena, and it’s because I love u that I can’t be selfish with u
But u can’t know this, I don’t deserve u,
But my brother does……
God I wish you didn’t have to forget this,
But you do……”
And then he compelled her to forget it all….


His love for Elena is pure, unconditional, and most touching…..
And being the closet romantic I am (shame, shame), I just feel for him…


Okay, I've said it all...


So bye guys, till next time.....

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Places Places.... Hhhmmm?

Hey guys
This was supposed to be last week’s post….
But it has been delayed due to ‘SOMEONE’S’ busy schedule….
Never mind, the punishment has been set….
It has also been a very busy week for…
In addition to it being fun and fulfilling.... So, theme of the week: The Dream Place To Go To And my place of selection is, New Zealand....

Ever since I was in high school, I have always dreamed of going there, to study, or even go on a vacation....
Why? Because the place is so wondrous...

It spells of tranquility.....
I could always imagine myself there....
Climbing up the magnificent looking mountains, touring the glaciers, walking up the meadows, lying in the field of lavenders......
So peaceful, so contented....
If I could just go there once, and spend my days there in tranquility, thinking of nothing, and just absorbing the beauty of god's creation.....
Just living in the moment, just being there, feeling the surrounding, far away from the reality of life, far from the hustle and bustle of the city and everyone.....
How I would love to be there.....

There are times when I could almost imagine being there….
Growing up, looking at pictures of its landmarks, scenery, it has planted a dream in me to step on its beautiful soils someday…..

Guess for now I can only dream, only time will tell if I will be able to reach that dream someday…..
For now, all I have is pictures, a vision driven by imagination….
It’s hard to describe with words why I so dream of being there….
So before I end this entry, let me show you some pictures of some of the places I dream of visiting in New Zealand, the reasons for me having such a dream….

















Till next week guys.... = )





Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Movie Pick of The Week!!

Hello folks,
I'm back for another entry....
Theme of the week: Movie Pick of The Week

So the rule is simple, pick any movie that we have watched in the week , it could be an old movie or a recent one, and it could have been watched in the cinema, on the laptop, on television, et cetera....
As long as the movie has been watched during some time in the week...
So, the movie of my choice, THE BODYGUARD!!
Not the new version, but the old one, the one relesed in 1992. Acted by Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner...

The movie was about Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston) and Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner). Rachel is an Oscar- nominated pop star and she was stalked and has received several death threats. So Frank, a former Secret Service agent, was hired to be her bodyguard. Somewhere along the lines, they fall in love with each other, although Frank finally chose to end the affair for fear of not being able to be professional and of compromising his ability to protect her.

The main reason I was called to pick the movie was because of the way it made me felt...
Frank was like super protective of Rachel's safety. Throughout the whole movie you can see how he always watches over her and only thinks about protecting her. I mean, yea he's her bodyguard so that makes it his duty. It started out as that, but into the movie you can see that Frank has fallen for her, and now protecting her wasn't just about doing the job, but also because he really just can't afford to have anything bad happen to her because of his love to her. The way he looks at her, always watching over her..... It just touches my heart. To have someone love her like that, and to always wanna protect her from any harm, and wants her to have all the best things in her life, she is just so lucky. I mean, he knows that he can't provide all of that for her, but at the very least he tries to give her the best of what he can provide to her, by protecting her. Towards the end of the movie, he took a bullet for her, or rather, two if you're really counting.

In today's world where chivalry and gallantry seems to be dead, to see the way he protects her, it just touches my heart. You don't find love like that just about anywhere, much less guys like that. For a person who's heart has been broken into small pieces, and who have lost her faith in love, and any trust in men, I have to say, that I am severely moved. It really touched me, and has rendered me speechless at that moment in time.... I have never had any guy look at me the way he looks at her, and never, have i felt like I was being protected and really cared for by a guy the way he did for her.... But then again, I guess I'm just not the kinda girl guys do that for. I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, who am I to complaint right.... But just after everything, I guess I just feel tired. I'm spent, exhausted, I feel like I'm done with it all. I'm tired of being the one who's protecting, the one who cares, the one who tries my best to understand and be the best of me for someone else.... For once, I wanna be the one being protected for a change, the one being taken care of, the one who is loved, the one who gets the best of someone else. But in the same time, I am such a mess that I can't even begin to put myself in a relationship, can't even commit or even trust at all.... In fact, nowadays, relationship scares me so much that even just talking about the prospect of it makes me wanna cry...... Don't get me wrong, it's not like i regret anything or blames anyone for it. I just, after everything, feels like I have to protect myself from others, and being in a relationship, I can't do that... I'll be open to hurt, and all kinds of pain.... This is not my first heartbreak, but I think that's why I take it so hard this time. 'Cause it has happened before, and in the past I told myself to ignore my instinct to protect myself, and take the leap, give it a chance, it could be different, and then... it happened again. So this time.....

I dunno what might happen in the future. If this heart can heal, if I can heal. In a way, I think I have. Healed from him, recovered from him. But the emotional baggages, the hurt, the damage, it's still there, and I don't believe in fairy tales and happy endings the way I used to.... I can now smile again, and I'm happy, and I love my life, I love the people around me, I enjoy myself..... But when it comes to relationships, I'm scared, like really really scared.... There are all these baggages, all these issues, that makes me a pessimist when it comes to relationships....

But hey, I choose to move on and live my life. So, enough with the stupid rambling that's just gonna make me seem like a loser rite.... Hahahahaha =p
Now, I wanna focus on myself, and my life....
I wanna finish my study, go to work, build my career....
To do my best in everything....
And I also wanna spend my quality time with the people around me, because people are important....
I wanna live my life to the fullest, and be the best person I can be.....

Bye guys,
Till next week..... = )

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Last 'Back to School' Experience.....

Hey guys
Back for another update as promised.... = )
So this week's theme: CLASS



After 10 months of leaving the campus, I am finally back....
Starting the last semester for my degree, and possibly, the last full time study experience

After going through the 6 months internship period, I have realised that my life as a student is actually one of the best periods in my life...
Campus life, student life, is the best
You have all the freedom in the world, all the time in the world, no strings attached, no responsibility to anyone but yourself, and all sorts of fun....
Everything in your life is about choices



When you work, you HAVE to get up in the morning for work,

You HAVE to finish your assignment by the deadline,

You HAVE to be responsible, to put in all your effort,

You HAVE to stay awake at work,

and you HAVE to survive....

It's different when you're studying,

It's up to you if you wanna get up in the morning for class, if you don't it affects only YOUR attendance

It's up to you if you wanna sleep in class, 'cause YOU are the one who's gonna miss out, no one else

It's up to you if you don't wanna study, YOU are the one who's going to fail,

And it's up to you if you don't wanna complete your assignment, 'cause YOU are the one who is gonna lose the marks...

At the end of the day, u get to go wherever, do whatever....

The only question that you need to ask yourself before you do something is, are you prepared to live with the consequences of your actions,

So when I stay at home, study, and do my assignments, as well as go to class, I know that I'm doing it for me, and no one else. I do it because I want to do it, and not because of I'm told too...

Working, you can't afford this kinda freedom...

You have to be responsible for not only yourself, but you teammates, firm, clients, et cetera....

Another thing that I love about studying is your life with your friends....

You go to class, the moment you come in all your friends will greet you, and the whole class will be in uproar from all the talking and the catching up, as well as the gossips, and then you'll laugh together, tell your stories to each other, go to eat together, you learn together, healthily compete with each other....

Friends, there are so many things that I love about studying, and the campus life, that it would take you maybe a week to finish reading my entry if I write it all.... So we'll just leave it at that.... =p



So anyway, only a week has passed since the start of the semester, and I have already had lots of fun and am loving my life here.....

Here's the brief summary of my first week here:

On the 1st day



Went to the faculty to settle my class registration, and then we went to Tesco and Giant to buy stuff like stationeries, toiletries and home appliances, then we went back to the campus to meet with the programme head...



At The Chicken Rice Shop Tesco Shah Alam - Ika, Miera, Nana, Tasya


Coloured pens for my notes and mind maps = )




On the second day:
Went to 2 morning classes, then me and Nana skipped the evening classes and went to PAS and SACC Mall. I succeeded in convincing Nana to buy a Blackberry and spent the rest of the evening and my night setting up Nana's phone and teaching her.... I however, lost the new lip balm I bought. Also had the chance to decorate my organiser and prepare my class schedule



At Noodle Station with Nana


My Organiser



Class Schedule






Bought more stationeries


On the 3rd day:


Pretty uneventful day. Went to class, given some assignments, did research work for some of it. I loved the audit lecturer though. One, because I love the subject. Two, because of her own mannerism, she is so intelligent and professional, yet soft spoken, that I can't help but to be in awe with her. Loved the way she handled us, it reminded me of how my seniors and bosses handled our clients......


Budak kecik gemok semangat ke kelas =p


On the 4th day:
For the morning class, we had Accounting Theory class, and I have to say that I love this one too. She is funny and wise, and have a mother-like mannerism, reminded me of my Mom. She quoted Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind an conceive and believe, you can achieve". She says lots of things that my mother always tell me, very philosophical, and a lot of her principals are the same as mine. She also have a wide general knowledge. I also went shopping again with Nana and had Tutti Frutti with her.



Gave Nana a brain freeze!



My pencil box





All in all, it was great week.... I had tonnes of fun, had the chance to catch up with all my friends...

Experiencing all the best parts of campus life again...

This whole week I have been super excited about every single thing.....

For once, after months of not feeling quite myself, I feel myself again...

I feel happy and normal again, and my life is back on track.....

And everything is just perfect, the way it is, right here...

I am me, and this is my life, and I vow to live my last semester as a full time student to the fullest....

I will be more punctual and skip less classes (hopefully), and will actually make an effort to listen to the lecturer and not sleep in class (will try my best although I can't promise).....

But I will definitely, spend more time with my friends, and enjoy being a student, and appreciate and feel fully every single thing that I have now instead of just going through the motions....

I wanna appreciate what I have right now while it lasts....

People are important, studying and life is not just about ambitions, and money, getting rich, and earning positions.....

But we gotta also take the time along the way to stop and smell the roses, and appreciate what we have, and spend what's left of our time with them, to always remember them and make as much good memories as we can....

I always thought that everything was about money, and life can wait, people can wait, all I ever cared about was my ambition, career, money. I lost sight of non-monetary and intangible stuffs that actually matters more than all that...

When I was working I had lots of money to spend, but I never have time to spare, and I never get to meet my friends, and never get to spend time with my family, no time to indulge myself..... And I realised that even if you have all the money in the world, it would mean nothing if you're unhappy.... Because money can buy stuff, but it doesn't necessarily buys you happiness.... People does that for you...

So for this semester, in addition to trying my best to score, I want to spend time with all my friends, and I wanna listen to their stories, laugh with them and cry with them, do stuff for them and help them whichever way I can.....

Because after this, we are all gonna go our separate ways, and we won't be seeing each other everyday anymore, and I wouldn't have much time to spend with them anymore....

People are important, family is important, friends are important. They are to be treasured, and so that I'll do, and I will live my life to the fullest with them with what little time I have left to be ultimately free right now.....


So, I think I da 'MEREPEK' and 'MEMBEBEL' enough for the week.....

Till next time... = )

Sunday, September 11, 2011

If Hearts Can Talk....

If hearts can talk, I wonder what mine would be saying….
If hearts can talk, wouldn’t it be easier?
I wish hearts can talk, ‘cause only then maybe we could be free of all the lies and dishonesty…..

What is it about the past that keeps pulling you in involuntarily?
That even after I’ve moved on, live my life, figure out how to be my own person without him, and are genuinely happy with my life and who I am right now, once in a while, something or someone from the past will appear out of nowhere.
Most of the time the past feels distant, it is distant, and then once in blue moon, it resurfaces…
What’s with that?
People say “Yesterday was history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the PRESENT”.
A few days ago I came across a quote by Anonymous saying “Don’t look back at what you’ve lost. Move on. Remember, life is not meant to be traveled backwards”.
In a way, I don’t feel like it’s something I’ve lost. In fact, I know I’m so much better off without him. Deep down, I always felt like I deserve someone better, like he couldn’t be the best there is for me… I mean, being who I am, I can get more, deserve more. After I discovered all the lies and the secrets, I feel that more strongly than ever…
And I feel relieved, that after everything that has happened, I am now able to be free of him, blameless.
It’s a good thing. And I don’t want any part of him in my life anymore.
And when he came back, I am certain than ever that I definitely, positively do not want an asshole like that in my life…
Which makes me wonder then, why does the past sometimes resurfaces?

So I wanna share another quote by an unknown that sounds like this, “Sometimes it’s not the person that that we miss, it’s the memories that we share together with them”. I think there’s a truth in the quote. Because memories, no matter what, will always stay the same, frozen in time, unchangeable and can never be undone. But people though, changes. I myself, changed, after everything that has happened. We are now different people, strangers, set on different paths, and that is it. And now, I am moving forward, I refuse to stay in the past. I believe there is a reason why everything happens the way it did. Every cloud has a silver lining. And I know, that God always have the best plans for us, that everything happens for the best.
I think the reason why things are so hard this time around is because, in the past, I’ve used up my strength to recover from my heartbreaks. So many times have it been used up, that maybe what was left of it is not enough to sustain me this time? Is that even possible? Or is it true when they say that it is when you feel like you are spent, that you have no more strength left in you, is the moment when you find new courage and become stronger than you have ever been before?
The part that hurts is not the being without him part. 'Cause being without him I feel like I’ve been saved. But I think what hurts most is the betrayal, all the lies and dishonesty, the manipulation. Nevertheless, I am bouncing back….

Till next time….. = )

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dream.... Oh little dreams of mine

Hey guys,
It seems it' s been more than a year since I have last visited, and much less, write anything in this blog...
Always have a lot of things to say, opinions to express, but never enough motivation to write it down.....
Nevertheless, I back now! Heeee = )
Made a pact to update the blog at least once a week....
And this week's theme, is DREAM.....
So what's in a dream?? Jeng jeng jeng..... Hihihihihi =p

Dream, according to Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary is;
One- a series of events and images that happen in your mind when you are sleeping
Two- something that you want to happen very much but that is not very likely
Three- to imagine something that you would like to happen
However, in today's concept, when talking about dreams, it can also represent our ambitions, and the things we wanna do in our lives....
Which is what I'm gonna talk about today....

Being a final year student, who is about to start her last semester, where I'm gonna go next, and what am I gonna do, what I want to accomplish in my life, are some really important questions.....
Some, hasn't even been able to figure out the answers to all of this, but fortunately for me, my whole life has been about me, moving towards my dreams, establishing what I want in my life and figuring out how do i get there....
I guess I am quite fast- paced in that sense....

When I was a five year old, I always dreamed of becoming a doctor....
Little girls would be playing barbie and I was begging my mom everyday for a doctor's kit....
As I grew up, the dream became more detailed.....
I wanted to become a surgeon (either a cardiologist, obstetrician or a neurosurgeon), and I would also in addition to being a surgeon, has a Degree in Psychology. The idea was to be a surgeon and save a lot of money, and when I'm 35, I'll be opening my own private practice as a psychologist....
Then, at the age of 45, I'll sell the practice, retire, and would be a linguist and a freelance book translator, and I will be doing my Bachelor in Literature, and when I graduate, I wanna write lots and lots of novels... Hahahahha a pretty big and elaborate dream for a 12 year old, but then again, I have never been ordinary.....

That was the dream that I hold till I was 17, and I let it go because my result wasn't enough for meds school.... And while growing up, i discovered my passion in the F&B line, and also spa and salons.... So when I was applying, I wanted to take Hotel Management, or Cosmetics and Hair and Beauty Care, so that I can 1 day open up my own hotel or salon cum spa.....
My parents though had a different idea, so long story short, I was sent to Perlis to study Accountancy, where I later developed a dream of working in a Big 4 and building network, and saving up capital, so that at the age of 30, I'll be able to open up my of Chartered Accountant Firm.....
So I followed the path, and did everything right, and I, as well as any other person in my life can see that I'm beginning to reach that dream, that it wasn't so farfetched, that it is within my grasp....
And when the time came for my internship in my later years, I got accepted to PricewaterhouseCoopers, one of the Big 4... I was jumping up and down in excitement and at the same time having sleepless nights due to nightmares caused my own fears of my incapability of living up to their expectations....
It was really big for me, as that internship spot earns me 70% possibility of being accepted as an employee when I graduate later...
So I went, and lived apart of my dream, for 6 months... where I have learnt a lot, not only in my area of expertise, but also in terms of career...
I get to meet a lot successful people, and the seniors and bosses who literally educated me on career opportunities and life path...
So then my dream was again altered, a bit... I now no longer wanna have my own firm.
My dream, now, is to work in PwC when I graduate, work my butt off to become Manager, and after that resign and apply for a job in Oil & Gas company.....

All in all though, in my whole 23 years, I have learned a lot about dreams...
Dreams can change, we adapt our dreams to our present life, our dreams develop in line with our own progress....
My mom always told me to never give up on your dreams, always believe in yourself, in your capabilities, because you are extraordinary and exquisite... You are capable of making a difference, capable of changing the world, if you put your mind to it... Never give up, there is always a way...
My mom is a very wise woman, I trust her, and I always believe evrything she says...
And being the wise woman she is, she made me a wise person, I am today the strong-willed and opinionated person, because of her... I am somebody, because of her...
I believe that whatever our dreams, as a person, we are always capable of achieving whatever it is that we want..... Anything, as long as we are willing to sacrifice for it, and are willing to work our way, fighting against the world for it.... Sadistic, but true...
I have always been the glass half full person, as opposed to the glass half empty kinda person.....
My mom taught me to always be positive, cause when you are positive, positive things are gonna happen to you...
The happiest person is not the one who get all the best things in life, but rather, who makes best of what he has in life...
So for me, whatever life throws in my face, whatever setbacks life give me, I always bounce back and get back my feet on the ground, all ready,walking proud and tall, heading towards my dream....
So folks, don't ever be afraid to dream, cause the moment when you stop dreaming, is the moment when you will become a nobody... Dreams make us somebody, they give us purpose, and they keep us in line, keep us straight, keep us tall.....
People who don't dream, are the people who doesn't have purpose in life, and without purpose, why would we wanna live at all? What would our life be worth then?
So always dream big, but in the same time, don't forget to be realistic..... Never be afraid to strive for your ambition, even when people are laughing at you, take it as a challenge, ignore what people say...
But also remember guys, figuring out what you wanna do in life, and how to get there, is only half of the equation....
The other half, is figuring out who to share your success with....
Just a food for thought.....
All the best of luck to you guys, I hope you will all be able to achieve your dreams....
Till next week ;-)